The Extended Dance Remix Version of KellyWorld.

Kelly Killoren Bensimone interview. It is insanely long, but some little factoids:

• Kelly is a twin.
• She talked her way into Columbia.
• She speaks French, but kept it from Gilles for a while so she could hear what he said about her behind her back.
• She created Gilles Bensimone, the photographer.
• Kelly is also a narcissist, besides a Bipolar disorder with paranoid features.
• Her very important book on American fashion was important because it wasn't a dissertation. And it was written on her fucking Blackberry.
• Kelly was up for Tim Gunn's show and lost to Veronica Webb.
• She actually is Cuckoo for Coco Puffs.
• Bethenny is not a girl. She is a bully.
• Social classes is so Greek and Roman times.
• Bethenny's problem is that she wants Kelly to acknowledge her reality television show career.
• Kelly's beaten boyfriend needs love. From someone else.

I made it to minute 25. Twenty-five minutes I will never get back.

RHONY Reunion Part 3

Real Housewives Live Blog

Hi Ghoulie!

HaHA! here i finally am.

RHONY Reunion Live Blog

Uberwenschen will be here for Thursday.  Mwah!

Well, I adore you.  We have a date on Thursday!!!  I am so excited for the RHoNY reunion.

Ew. That last image. . . So, see you in the morning?

Dina, it was hopeless to begin with.

Let it GO!

Awful.

Danielle is psychotic.

She's GREAT!

Dina is being a lot more respectful than I would be.

Here we go.

Yes, we have posted too much so now we have to prove we aren't spammers.

I'll bet Dina, because she don't like the drama.

Do you have to do a word verification every time you post?

It looks fun.

Who do you think is leaving the show FOREVER?!

I am starting to get excited to see Work of art.

Though Dina seeking her out isn't helping. Yikes.

Yes.  She is a total stalker.

Hahahahaha!

We know what happens when the Manzos want you to "go away".

Danielle is kind of a stalker of this family.

Total tough guy mafia types.

That was funny.

Ew. I don't like ANY of the men on this show.

Ashley is stirring the shit, man...let it go.

By the way, I think they may have already had sex.

What part does Dina have in all of this?

It takes a commitment to crap tv, and Diet Dr. Pepper.

Oooooo, sex tape scandal and someone leaves the show FOREVER!  Who is it?

If I had to wait that late, I doubt I'd ever see these shows. well, not the debuts, anyway.

I like her, I guess.  I have a problem with her outfits, but I like her.

I haven't decided yet if I'll watch it, but seeing as though I am programmed to turn on Bravo on
Thursdays at 10, chances are I will.

I'm the only one I know who doesn't like Bethanny.

I'm not going to watch Bethanny's show. I really don't like her, nor am I interested in her life.

I must have missed that.

No.  Jacqueline's husband is Caroline Manzo's brother.  Ashley's father and Jacqueline split up when she was 17 months old or something.  She explained it last week.

I love the battle of wills between aged Danielle and 18-year old Ashley.

smo ro!

Is Jaquline's husband Ashley's father?

Derek is starting to realize that Ashley is only 18...seriously.

I couldn't tell. Man, at least Ashley is the most open about what she's doing.

Who is that?  Is that her Mom?

Not so tough he won't gossip about bullshit with a woman who has an age-identity crisis.

He is really really interested in appearing to be a tough guy on tv.

Uh, Dina? it's Danielle again. Is it just you and I? Can I bring some ex convicts?

She totally is gonna fuck him.  A Keebler elf!  Danielle expects an apology?!  Seriously.

Mr Thuggy Quiet in the background there.

Is he really all that interested in this girl drama???

Oh poor misguided Dina...good luck with all that.

Danny is GROSS! She is going to fuck him.

What?!  I thought Danielle was broke.  How is she buying Danny clothes and hiring boyguards?

Oh lord.

ASHLEY!  You are making the family look bad here....the family doesn't like to look bad.

Ashley is dramatic. I wonder where she learned that.

Yes!  She is gorgeous.  So Ashley did start a facebook page about Danielle.

Ah, the FB hate page explained.

I think that Indian woman who is in all the bollywood movies is the most beautiful woman ever.

I love you even though you judge me for being sticky and drinking chemicals.

Teresa, love her, but she looks like hell.

STOP it! She is beautiful, and so are YOU!!! That was a nice thing to say.

Padma Lakshmi is the most beautiful woman ever...besides you, Ghoulie.

Sticky. Gross.

I am now sticky from trail mix.

If it is the family, then that is weird, but it is probably just some random person, right?!

Wait, the family has a hate page against Danielle?

Facebook pages hating reality stars is what facebook pages are about.

Nope. Danielle can't go to the police.

Everyone has a hate page against them.  I once joined a group that hated Snuffy from SEsame STreet.  Not grounds for a lawsuit.

KKK. Really.

Talking to yourself is not a life.

That thing in her hair is hideous.

I say coffee that way.  This is hurtful.

What did Teresa dress her in?

It sounds normal to me too.  I have lived here 3 years too long.

Dina is beautiful.

Gia is pretty badly spoiled.

WEAK!!! Dina is pretty.

Love Dina and the blue and green outfit!

Nice.  I have a feeling that uberwenschen fell asleep.  Weak.

We can only hope.

Holy shit.

I have found that the "refresh" button helps to update posts, by the way . . .

I see Danielle heading towards a Bensimone

Narcissism.

Oh, gimme a break.  Drama queen.

So it's only offensive to call a gay man a faggot?  If you use the term in reference to a straight man, it's fine, apparently.

Were those devilled eggs?

She's an idiot.

She is psychotic.

He wasn't calling a gay man a faggot???

Out of nowhere. . .

Danny is that guy's name.

I like the Diet soda.

Outdoor smoke break . . .

Right, but she was all kinds of offended last year when Teresa's husband said something about gay guys which wasn't even offensive.

A little bit. Just a smudge.

Wait, are you judging me with my trail mix and Diet Dr. Pepper?

I think so. Thank goodness someone said something about the "faggot" comment. Ms. "Hag" Danielle didn't seem offended by that at all.

Kim didn't seem uncomfortable during the event.  Kim, I suspect, is a bit of a hanger-on.

She's pals with Danielle, who only surrounds herself with crazy people.

I think I hate Kim.

Kim, with her black driver. Yes.

Bodyguard.

Is Kim the new Housewife here or what?

Absolutely not.

Are you eating trail mix and drinking Diet Dr. Pepper too?

Brother?

Which guy? Body guard?

Is that wrong?

I wanna punch that guy.

Beaudry guy. Cupps. Cosmic, man.

Totally...bad cut for her.  Wear sleeves, know your limitations.

Ugh. This is reminding me of Cupps, and how much I hate people in restaurants of any kind.

Yes, that guy was like a Beaudry guy.

Everytime I see that intro with Caroline, she looks like a linebacker with those shoulders.

I think Teresa is funny, but gimme a break...you're a stage mom.

Remember that young douche she was sleeping with in restaurant bathrooms?

I don't feel bad...she is gross and creepy and a sociopath.

I feel bad for saying it, but she grosses me out.

Cougar.  Definitely.

Danielle looks like I always think a "cougar" should. Or a drag queen.

Go Dina!

Awesomeness...I am excited for this episode.

Seriously, what is that?!  Proud to be stupid.

"We're about to get stupid up in here . . . " (Guy who is Danielle's bodyguard).

So, we're back with the Jersey ladies, who deny emphatically that they are mafia related.

Definitely!  Whoo-hoo!

Monday night for New Jersey?

Okay kids. My first time blogging was weird and confusing. Thank you for your patience.

I loved it.  Thank you for live blogging with me and making my dreams come true!

the kelly wrap up was the best.

It's the crazy eyes.

Oh yeah, I forgot the Countess...possibly the top offender of narcissism...oh wait, third.

Ramona looks vacant. Her eyes . . .

Luann is pretty damned self absorbed! Maybe the thing is that they're all dumb as rocks.

I see.  It's true.  They are all pretty self-absorbed.  Bethenny, Ramona, Jill and Kelly being the worst.

Oh yeah. She got a new show. I forgot about that.

they are all on a reality show. narcissist might be in the job description.

I wonder if any of the other housewives are gonna be on that Bethenny show.

See now?? Why is bethenny talking about herself at Ramona's wedding?

That surprise thing is losing it's charm.

Gee how elegant to see Ramona kick her dress down the aisle.

ordained asshole...bwahahaha

Gross...is this guy a minister?  Or just like a ordained asshole?

Mario is a bit of douche.

wow. the reunion looks awesome.

There is no worse movie I can come up with than one with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz in a wacky thriller.

Apparently Andy Cohen is showing clips from the reunion on WWHL.

she didn't.

When is the reunion?

Seriously.  Let's hope she took her ativan or horse tranquilizer or whatever she is on.

you know what they say about assholes...every bravo show has them.

Jill Zarin is such a nit-picky...you know what.  I'm starting to like Jen more.

it has been said before, but there is something wrong with kelly.

I love how Kelly hates gossip, but is hanging out with Jill Zarin gossiping...

Wrap-up.  Ugh.

what is up with these women not understanding PEtA?

When Jill says "Ramon-er", take a drink (or a bite)

The whole Ramona wedding thing is boring. She's such a spazz.

I'm not drinking, but I am taking a bite of macaroni and cheese every time.

did she get knocked up and never have a wedding?

When Ramona takes a sip of Pinot...take a drink.

Nervous, why...if he refuses to say I do, does that mean you aren't married anymore?

me too. you make me laugh at least once a day on my face.

If Ramona was my mother I'd pretend not to hear her too.

I miss you too.

i like bethenny as much as any of them, which is not at all. she is the least rich harpy of the bunch. Or alex and sonja are, then bethenny. does jen gilbert count?

See I like Bethenny solely because she is saner than everyone else.  She feels like an everyhousewife.

I miss you guys.

Okay . . . let's discuss for a moment how much I dislike bethenny. She is a whiner, holds grudges, and seems to be the most passive narcissist of the bunch. She really bugs me.

I'll watch it.  I don't care if it has fucking mimes.  I'm watching it.

I now have the pinot sweats.

work of art has performance art in it?!!

Hm.

yes it can. money can buy friends, and cheesy french boyfriends.

Money can't buy you tone.

Sonja is way too drunk to be explaining anything.  Though I adore her.

i love sonja.

Yes, apparently the Countess is intellectually too difficult for Kelly.

Nope. Not Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

It's not quite rapping...it's more like sing-talking...stalking!

was jill explaining the song to kelly?

Um, ewwww, Jen and Jill grinding....

Is she rapping?

shit, she is rapping.

Oh please, hit that note, Luann...or ignore it, either way, really.

i love how they are acting like luann is the beatles.

I feel uncomfortable. She's gonna sing.

Vegas Holiday Inn.

Oh shit, this is gonna be classic.

WAIT! I meant the blonde guy who plays tennis. Ew!

Yeah, French greaseball.

Money can't buy you herpes either, Luann....oh wait, nevermind.

Luann's new boyfriend is hideous and gross.

Kelly says, "Hi-eeeeeeeeeeeee"-take a drink.

Countess says, "Dah-ling"-take a drink.

Money can't buy you a voice either, Luann.

Oh and we need rules for the drinking game....

Commercial!  Pinot refill!

alright i can go to sleep now. unless krazy kelly will be on again. She should open a chain of electronics stores with that name.

Yes there is a reason to just cut you out, Jill...you are freakin' nuts, narcissistic and an attention whore.

it happened so fast? in RHONY, six months is like a lifetime.

Oh Christ, Jill, that is such a fucking lie!

Fake Jill sucks.

In the traditional 17th anniversary renewal ceremony...what the hell?  I think the 17th anniversary is the butter knife anniversary.

like ramona, i need another pinot grigio.

If by allergic you mean turns psychotic...no.

Buckle your seatbelts, gals, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

this is related to last episode, but can one be allergic to alcohol?

here we go.

Oh crap, this is gonna be ripe!

"Ramona, I am trying to pay attention to what you are saying, but that ponytail is the most unfortunate hairstyle of the season."

This has nothing to do with RHONY, but Red Lobster is the biggest perpetrator of false advertising ever.

Cuckoo for coco puffs. Seriously.

I would pay money to see the Countess fall on her ass.  OH wait, seeing Jill fall on her face was good enough and free.

Was that Kelly's bra hanging out of her Stripper Bride of Frankenstein shirt?  TAcky.

Ooooo, bad opera moustache.  Ouch.

What the hell is the Colonel wearing there?  I mean, Simon.

When did Bethenny ever say she had a smear campaign against Kelly? Oh right on Marshmellow Island with the Jujube people and the flying jellybeans....

Housewives live bloggin'-who's in?!

Okay people here it is....finale night!!!!  Whoo-hoo!

Money can't buy you class, but apparently it can buy you a record deal.

And just for a little mindfuck before the big finale tonight....Money can't buy you class
The Countess was so botox-ed for this, I am having trouble believing she can move her mouth.   The extensions and airbrushing make her look like she is 25...I mean, they were a rough 25 years but still yeah...wow.

Thank you for being a friend...

Betty White, don't fail me now!  RIP, Blanche, you will be missed.

Diagnosing the housewives

I'll be honest, I watch the real housewives joints much like most people watch bestiality videos. Curtains gets closed. Volume gets turned down. There is a healthy, and well-earned, dose of shame and embarrassment involved. And yet, I must admit in all my lapsed Catholic confessional glory, I am mesmerized. I have been discussing it in public. I have read the blogs. I have googled. I have discussed people's twitters. No shit. I am out of the closet, people. And it is liberating.

Real Housewives of NY, hereby dubbed the RHONY, is a fiasco that has collided with the clusterfuck to become a very messy trainwreck. I love it. Every disgusting insane minute of it. I think Ghoulie summed it up best with one word: schadenfreude. It is incredibly satisfying to watch a former supermodel lose her shit over some socialites. These are adult women. Fighting about nothing. Watching Kelly Bensimon slowly unravel has been hard to watch, and also riveting.

Jellybeans. Zipits. Al Sharptons. Oh my.

I am not sure I have ever done such extreme 180s about my opinions on people. I love my position as armchair psychologist, and so when Kelly was losing her shit, I was googling personality disorders. Borderline? Uh...hmmmm...not quite. When the Countess was trying to talk Jill Zarin out of the little hop to St. Johns, I had narcissist personality disorder in the wiki. So imagine my delight when I found this incredible blog. A Real Housewive's Point of View. Putting her psychology degree to use. I think I have to agree with the commenter who suggested Bipolar disorder with psychotic features.

Kelly Bensimon On ‘Real Housewives’: It Was A ‘Really Tough Season’ | Access Hollywood - Celebrity News, Photos & Videos

Kelly Bensimon On ‘Real Housewives’: It Was A ‘Really Tough Season’ | Access Hollywood - Celebrity News, Photos & Videos

Okay, another Kelly video. She is seriously delusional. Totally Cracker Barrel.

And Now, An Important, Not At All Self-Serving, Public Service Announcement From Kelly Bensimon

And Now, An Important, Not At All Self-Serving, Public Service Announcement From Kelly Bensimon

Um, yeah. She's a bat-shit crazy.

Already?!

Ouch.  She has only been on the show a few months and her life is already in the crapper...Welcome to the shitstorm, Sonja!